Hi all,
Before I
even fell pregnant I always thought the tough mom/teacher duty only kicks in
when kids go to primary school. I was pretty wrong on that one. Aiden has turned 4 at the
end of January 2015, and trust me he's quite a clever little boy. His brain is absorbing
everything around him, and I mean everything. Unfortunately the bad stuff as
well. So that made me realize how important it is to teach your child from as early as
possible. And the only way is by repetition.
I have been
so inspired by MOB (Moms of Boys) blog. Their focus on raising Godly boys and
their application of the Word is just amazing. Throughout my life I have learnt about the Bible, but never really how to apply it properly in my own life
and also in my sons life. One post that has so far really stuck out in my mind
is “When evil is repaid by evil” by Wenely Speake from MOB. When I read: “Mom,
don’t join the fight. Let’s teach our sons how to overcome evil with our
good.” Immediately I thought of all the times that I have reacted with frustration to
something that my son has done. My first thought was...what does that teach him?
That it is okay to react with anger.
Another
thing I have learnt through motherhood is that God really does have a set out
plan for me. Being a mom isn't just about the responsibilities. But it is a journey where I become closer to God simply by teaching my son to do so.
Going back
to the title of this post, there is no better verse to back it up. That is:
“Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”Romans 12:21
This
does not only apply to our kids and the way they react to the other kids but us
reacting to our kids. Below are just a few ways I aim to apply this verse into
mine and my sons life. This journey is not just mine, but also my sons and my
husbands. How awesome is that.
1. Be patient
We all know this scenario when our child decides
not to listen and challenges us head on. What is the first thing we tend to do?
We face back like a bull. (Well at least I tend to do it) If you think you are
winning a fight, you are actually loosing it. Because your child is learning to
react to any bad circumstance with anger and frustration. Where it could have
been something small. Step down to their level, look them in the eyes and
clearly explain everything. And do not give in, be consistent. In the beginning
it will be challenging but after some time they will realize that there is no
other way.
2. Oh the tantrums
I don’t think there is a parent that has never went
through a tantrum episode. They may vary in degree, but it was definitely
there. What I do, and seems to be working (at least most of the time), is I go
to my sons level. Look him in the eyes and I ask him: “What is that going to
help you?” It is not easy to have a straight face when those big blue eyes are
staring at you. But you have to, they need to learn obedience. I can see how
he pauses, and than thinks of throwing another tantrum. It will eventually fade as
they learn they are not getting anything out of it.
3. No arguments.
I think especially as mom’s we often get into
lengthy arguments with our kids to avoid a hiding. But than all we do is we
allow for that little spark to grow into a fire. We give them that gap to throw a tantrum etc. What
I do is I give at least 3 warnings. Than I
send him to his room and explain to him what he did was wrong. And he can only come
out when he decided to listen and to apologise. When he comes out I ask him again why did he had
to go to his room. Disciplining your child is one thing, but making them
understand what they did was wrong is just as important.
4. But he did it first.
As I see my son grow up so is his interaction with
friends. As young as he is, it is already so important to teach them not to
react to anger with anger. Every time Aiden tells his friend hit him first. I
make a point of explaining to him he must not react to it and a better person.
Of course it is easier said than done, as the other day the teacher told me
Aiden hit another boy. This is where repetition comes in, and explain to him
once again. Tell your child that if they hit back the other person will hit
harder, and you will want to do it even harder. Where will it stop?
5. Make it visual
We all know concentration span of toddlers ain't that great. So another way to teach them is to make it visual. Draw a small
mole hill and explain to them that when they react with evil the hill gets
bigger and bigger.
As I end this post I would like to remind you that
nothing will work immediately. It is a journey where both you and your child
will learn a lot from. All those tips are just ways that I use that seem to be
working. Each child is different, therefore you need to find ways that suits
your child’s personality. And always keeping the verse in the center of it all.
Teach the verse to your child so when he/she is in a conflict, they will know
what to do.
Thank you for reading this post.
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