Overcome evil with good.

Hi all,

Before I even fell pregnant I always thought the tough mom/teacher duty only kicks in when kids go to primary school. I was pretty wrong on that one. Aiden has turned 4 at the end of January 2015, and trust me he's quite a clever little boy. His brain is absorbing everything around him, and I mean everything. Unfortunately the bad stuff as well. So that made me realize how important it is to teach your child from as early as possible. And the only way is by repetition.

I have been so inspired by MOB (Moms of Boys) blog. Their focus on raising Godly boys and their application of the Word is just amazing. Throughout my life I have learnt about the Bible, but never really how to apply it properly in my own life and also in my sons life. One post that has so far really stuck out in my mind is “When evil is repaid by evil” by Wenely Speake from MOB. When I read: “Mom, don’t join the fight. Let’s teach our sons how to overcome evil with our good.” Immediately I thought of all the times that I have reacted with frustration to something that my son has done. My first thought was...what does that teach him? That it is okay to react with anger.

Another thing I have learnt through motherhood is that God really does have a set out plan for me. Being a mom isn't just about the responsibilities. But it is a journey where I become closer to God simply by teaching my son to do so.

Going back to the title of this post, there is no better verse to back it up. That is: 

 “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”Romans 12:21 

This does not only apply to our kids and the way they react to the other kids but us reacting to our kids. Below are just a few ways I aim to apply this verse into mine and my sons life. This journey is not just mine, but also my sons and my husbands. How awesome is that.

    1. Be patient

We all know this scenario when our child decides not to listen and challenges us head on. What is the first thing we tend to do? We face back like a bull. (Well at least I tend to do it) If you think you are winning a fight, you are actually loosing it. Because your child is learning to react to any bad circumstance with anger and frustration. Where it could have been something small. Step down to their level, look them in the eyes and clearly explain everything. And do not give in, be consistent. In the beginning it will be challenging but after some time they will realize that there is no other way.

    2. Oh the tantrums

I don’t think there is a parent that has never went through a tantrum episode. They may vary in degree, but it was definitely there. What I do, and seems to be working (at least most of the time), is I go to my sons level. Look him in the eyes and I ask him: “What is that going to help you?” It is not easy to have a straight face when those big blue eyes are staring at you. But you have to, they need to learn obedience. I can see how he pauses, and than thinks of throwing another tantrum. It will eventually fade as they learn they are not getting anything out of it.

    3. No arguments.

I think especially as mom’s we often get into lengthy arguments with our kids to avoid a hiding. But than all we do is we allow for that little spark to grow into a fire.  We give them that gap to throw a tantrum etc. What I do is I give at least 3 warnings. Than I send him to his room and explain to him what he did was wrong. And he can only come out when he decided to listen and to apologise. When he comes out I ask him again why did he had to go to his room. Disciplining your child is one thing, but making them understand what they did was wrong is just as important.

     4. But he did it first.

As I see my son grow up so is his interaction with friends. As young as he is, it is already so important to teach them not to react to anger with anger. Every time Aiden tells his friend hit him first. I make a point of explaining to him he must not react to it and a better person. Of course it is easier said than done, as the other day the teacher told me Aiden hit another boy. This is where repetition comes in, and explain to him once again. Tell your child that if they hit back the other person will hit harder, and you will want to do it even harder. Where will it stop?

    5. Make it visual

We all know concentration span of toddlers ain't that great. So another way to teach them is to make it visual. Draw a small mole hill and explain to them that when they react with evil the hill gets bigger and bigger.

As I end this post I would like to remind you that nothing will work immediately. It is a journey where both you and your child will learn a lot from. All those tips are just ways that I use that seem to be working. Each child is different, therefore you need to find ways that suits your child’s personality. And always keeping the verse in the center of it all. Teach the verse to your child so when he/she is in a conflict, they will know what to do.

Thank you for reading this post.