Love is not gone, it has changed.

Hi All,

Many people that have divorced or their relationship has been broken apart, often say that the reason for that was that the love has disappeared.

Than I began to wonder, how something so powerful, that bought these two strangers together can just be gone. I never had an answer for that until I've realized something from my own marriage.

We all have to accept one thing in life, we are all going change throughout our lifetime. Now, change isn't an easy thing. Some people adapt very well, some don't. You see my friend, God throws different situations at us to shape us for a purpose that He has designed for us. Some people change for the good and some for bad, and that is all from the choices that they make in their lives.

Now when your in the process of changing, you flesh becomes weaker and it is a perfect opportunity for the devil to step in and so do some damage

Do you see my friend, just how important is faith in our Lord?

The devil will do it's utmost best to make you believe that the strong love between you and your partner is gone. In the meantime, it is still there. It is busy changing with you. The devil will blind you and tell you that love is no longer there by tempting you with lies, lust and pornography and so on.

Unfortunately our flesh isn't strong enough to fight the devil, so I'm going to ask you this again.

Do you see my friend how important is our faith in our mighty Lord? 
He is our only Savior, the only who can save us from the hands of the devil. The devil will use any weak point in your life, put a small wedge and slowly it will destroy it.

So before you say love is gone, ask god to help you revive the love that once was burning bright.

I had these doubts in my head once before. Doubts of, is our love gone? Are we just living together and past each other? That is when I got down on my knees and begged God to help me. To save me from the thoughts. And so I prayed, and i prayed and I prayed. I refused to give up. I refuse to allow the devil to take over my life and my marriage.

Than I slowly started to see God's work in my life. He showed me that the love is still there. Its burning very dim, but it's there. follow me and I will help you brighten it up.
Every situation in your life will change you , it will mold you. You need to accept it my friend, the sooner you do that. The sooner your love with your partner will adapt with it. But if you will keep on living in the past, you will feel like that love is gone.

I feel like I have fallen in love with my husband all over again. And I give all my thanks to God. I have accepted myself and him for who we have become. I love him for who he is now and for who he was or for who I want him to be.

So my friend never give up on love, No matter how dim it is shining. Fight for it! Beg God to help you. He is the only one who can help you through it.

I really hope that I have managed to express myself correctly. Sometimes it's not easy to find the right words to explain how you feel. My wish is that this story will touch many people, men and woman. And that it will revive that dim light or even save a marriage.

Dear Lord,
Thank you for being my Savior. I have learnt that without you it is just not possible. I pray that those who are lost and weary will turn to you for help. Help them Lord to ignite the flame that once was burning so bright.
In Jesus name, I pray. Amen

Date night: as told by ladies and men

Hi Everybody,

Here is slightly more fun post and an interesting one. I have decided to ask 5 ladies and 5 men to tell me what would their perfect date night be if they are to be spoiled by their significant other. Over outcome showed me that ladies have a faster response regarding what their want. Hehe. But the reason for this was to shed some light as to what men and woman want on their date night. This is just few people that I have asked. But if someone is struggling, it’s worth while checking this post out.

So here it goes.

Date nights as told by ladies:

• Candle light picnic.

Beautiful open field or a garden with soft background music and lots of candles. Why not grab a book  and read it to each other. A pure relaxing moment with lots of pillows and blankets.

Alice Lohrman. Married for 4 years and a mom to a cute little boy.

• No buzz and hustle of a busy restaurant.

Quiet outdoor picnic and learning about each other. Talking and sharing thoughts and ideas. Pack a picnic basket full of yummy treats and nice wine.

Angelique Veldsman, in a long term relationship.

• Theatre outing.

Book tickets at a local theatre and enjoy drinks and dessert afterwards.

Anna van den Berg, married and a mom to two cute boys.

• Quiet night in.

Make a Christmas bed in front of the TV. Good movie, snacks and quality time together.

Antoinette Lindeque, wife and a mom to a 5 year old boy

•  Boat cruise.

A romantic boat cruise on a river or around the Bay. Wine and good food tops up the trip.

Enjoying the sunset and sharing good memories.

Tyneal Jurghoo, mom to two bubbly kiddies and happily married

Date night as told by men:

• Outdoors

A nice braai and a small camp by the beach.

Theuns Potgieter, husband and father to a cute baby girl

• Braai

And so they say, best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.

Phillip Els, husband and father to two kiddies

• Simplicity

An outdoor intimate place with light snacks and good wine. Spending time talking to each other, being honest and not judgmental. Be true and be yourself and share the most true emotions about everything. Dave, single romantic

• Small fishing expedition

Organize a quiet spot and if you and your partner likes fishing than have a challenge. One who catches fish first has to prepare a meal. Relaxing time doing what we love.

Anonymous.

• Spanish restaurant

Book a quiet spot in a Spanish restaurant. What better way to get the heat up than with passionate Spanish music, good food and wine. Chill and enjoy the evening.

Peter Moscicki, husband and father of two teens.

Well there it is. Just some ideas from men and woman for a quick date night. What I have seen from the people, is that simplicity is just the best. Quiet intimate times is what a couple needs. Whether you are married or single. Take the time to be alone, share thoughts and do what you both love. Set an evening at least once a month for date night.

Thanks for reading.

Cheers.

Couples that pray together, stay together.

Mathew 19:6 ‘So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.’

Hi All,

Welcome to my second post on relationships. Praying together as a couple should be the first habit a couple should learn. With this post I would like to help couple on how to pray together and what to pray for. This is just an example, so please adjust it and make it work for the two of you.

Before I carry on any further, here is a prayer for you and your spouse to pray over your relationship/marriage:

Dear Lord,

Help us to remember when we first met and the strong love that grew between us. To work that love into practical things so nothing can divide us. We ask for words both kind and loving and hearts always ready to ask for forgiveness as well as to forgive. Lord, we put our marriage into your hands.

Amen.

How to pray together as a couple:

• Set time aside.

This sound pretty easy, right? But when busy schedules and kids come to play it gets pretty difficult to find some time alone. But make it a priority, talk to each other when it will work best for you both. Maybe it’s in the morning or maybe in the evening. Have a coffee outside and use that freedom to pray together. There is no perfect spot.

• Length doesn’t matter.

I believe that it doesn’t matter for how long you pray. As long as you pray and as long as you mean it.

• Pray out loud.

It’s when each spouse takes a turn to pray out loud. And the other listens.

• Take turns.

When sitting to pray together talk what you two would like to pray for and decide who is going to pray for what. For example let one spouse say thanks for all the blessings and the other pray for family.

• On the spot.

If you feel like an argument is building up. STOP. Pray together for forgiveness and peace and hand over all issues to God.

What to pray for in a relationship.

• Protection

Psalm 91:9-11 “If you make the Lord your refuge, if you make the most High your shelter, no evil will conquer you; no plague will come near your home. For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways.”

Pray, ask and beg God to keep your relationship in his hands and protect it from evil. Even when things are going okay, pray. Never cease to pray, don’t allow any chance for Satan to creep in.

• God’s will over your marriage

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, ‘declares the Lord,  plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

God has a plan for you and for your marriage. Submit your marriage to him. Let him guide you and your spouse on the right path. Enjoy the peace that comes from trusting the Lord.

• Commitment to one another

Genesis 2:24 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

Proverbs 3:5-7 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil.”

As God has said in Genesis 2:24, the two will become one flesh. You can’t get it more simpler than that. God tells us to commit to that one person. And why do that? Well,  in Proverbs 3:5-7 God tells us, ‘Trust in the Lord and he will make paths straight. Therefore if we keep our relationship/marriage holy, God will do the rest, he will guide and protect. Even in the Ten Commandments it says: You shall not commit adultery. It’s written in black and white, cast in stone, that you and your spouse are to become one.

• Finances

Matthew 6:33: “ But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.”

Most of us know what it means to be  in a tough financial situation. It’s a big pressure point in a relationship and sadly, many relationships fail because of financial problems. There is just so many references in the Bible about not putting worldly things before God and your relationship. Many people don’t understand the concept marrying for good and bad. As soon as things get tough financially, they separate. What happened to that promise? But not to worry, God has a promise for us that we can be assured he will never break. All we ought to do is to lay our relationship and troubles in his hands. He promises us that he will take care of it. We just have to have faith in him and love each other like he loves us.

• Good attitude

Phillipians 4:13: “ I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

Pray as a couple for a good and positive attitude. Have a joyful heart and it will be a natural medicine in your relationship. Ask God to help you to uplift your spouse when times are tough. And stay positive.

• Patience

Romans 12:12: “Rejoice in Hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.”

Galatians 6:9: “And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.”

Patience is not an easy thing to practice. Especially in hard times or if there is two very strong willed partners. But God promises us that we shall reap rewards by being patient. Remember that words spoken can be forgiven but not forgotten.

• Supporting each other

Exlesiasles 4:12: “And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him- a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”

There is a reason why there is two people in a relationship. It is to support each other and to build a strong fort that nothing can break. Pray to God to help you support each other and to be a leaning shoulder for one another.

• Affection

Song of Solomon 1:2:” Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for your love is better than wine.”

Pray to God to keep reminding you both to cherish the physical part of your relationship and to keep on re-igniting the passion. Never forget that your bodies belong to both of you only. Think simple, think what sparked the relationship in the first place, that first kiss…

• Communication

James 1:19: “Know this, my beloved brothers, let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;”

Proverbs 15:1 :”A soft answer turns away wrath, but harsh words stir up anger.”

Through the last 11 years of my relationship with my husband, I have truly learnt  the meaning of communication. And not just any communication, good communication. No-one is a mind reader, therefore you have to talk. If you don’t talk you leave a gap of doubt which allows  Satan to put bad thoughts into your mind. And at the end of the day it was just a misunderstanding, or it all started with something small that could have been solved. Talk, talk and talk again. No matter how long it takes to solve a situation, DO NOT STOP.

• Love and respect

Ephesians 5:33 :”However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

This one should be easy and yet so many people can’t get it right. Give love and respect like you would want to receive it. Don’t expect something you simply cannot give. Ask God to help you be a better spouse and to love and respect each other like he does.

Thank you for reading this post. It is just so important for us to live our marriage like God wants us to and to teach our kids by example. Praying together is an amazing way to become closer as a couple and learn about each other.

Something I also want to share with you all:

The greatest thing a man can do for a woman is to lead her closer to God than himself.

Strong in Christ, Fit in Marriage

Hi All,

Welcome to the first guest post on relationships. 
It is so awesome hearing other people stories of how they conquered the bad times with the help of faith. 
I hope that with different point of views, everyone will benefit and learn from each other. 
Below is a post from Nastassia Lamont. A wife and mother of 2. 
But I'll leave it up to her to introduce herself. 

Hi I'm Nastassia Lamont and im 33 year old loving wife to JP Lamont for the past 5 years and devote mother of two to daughter Skyèla (8) and son Cayleb (4). I currently reside in Richards Bay, working as a Recruitment Consultant for the past 6 years and belongs to the Outlook Church in Birdswood. Apart from being a wife and mother, in my spare time I commit myself to setting a healthy lifestyle by eating clean and training 6 days a week. However I put my greatest passion and desire above everything in my life, my love for God. I just love to share my testimony with others in faithfulness that God will use my story to help others find Christ and come to know His love & grace.

Here is what I would like to share with you all:

Philippians 2:1 Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2 then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. 3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others."

There are no self-help books, dvd's, guidance seminars or enough parental advice that can guarantee you a smooth & happy marriage free from trials and tribulations however where Christ is centered marriage is beautiful and a wonderful adventure shared between two people that God has joined together. 

In the beginning we had many downs more than we had ups and during those downs it was really really messy but when we stopped looking at our own selfish needs and allowed God to intervene we became one with each other. Sharing in the same passion and love for God thus having more love than ever before with each other. 

Through our mutual passion for fitness, God has used this sport to not only bring us closer as husband and wife, where we learn to lean and trust on each other completely. But God is also transforming minds and softening hearts of others that we have the honor of meeting. 

When you keep God first in your marriage, you are able to stand as one body, one mind and one spirit. Love covers a multitude of sins and when we treat our spouses with love we are able to overcome any situation victoriously whether it is relational, financial, emotional, physical or spiritual.

xxx